Kittens and Corgis

To whom it may concern...

This is a list of things I want and why. They are all physical things. I'll get to that existential stuff later.

The first thing that I want is a kitten that loves to snuggle. I need a snuggler friend at all times and my stuffed animal is just not warm enough nor snuggly enough... Sorry Albertson.

The next thing that I want is a corgi to snuggle with me and my kitten. I also want them to snuggle independently when I am not home. I mean, you guys. Kittens and Corgis snuggling?!? I might explode.

The final thing that I want is to always have a great home base where I can truly feel at home. Now, if there is someone or something there with me that I love, it will be home and it would be the best.

That's all I really physically want in this world at the moment. Now, we all want success, and love, and meaning, and happiness. But those are all things that we don't need to mention; they are also things that we should never forget.

When I am in a new town away from family and friends, I want to be able to sustain myself on my own, obviously. I will have Scott there, thank the heavens, and the year following, I will have my brother. Slowly I will be gaining a support system, but right now, I can only look ahead to see what I want. I want to be there now, but moving with nothing isn't smart. I have to obtain my composure and move with a game plan a plan for an apartment, a plan for a job, a plan for transportation, and for my personal life. Where will I meet people and make friends? Will my current job assist me in making friends? Are the people who make me feel guilty about my lifestyle the people that I want to be around?

Choosing the friends you have in life is probably one of the most important parts of social living. If you can't pick your friends, who can you pick? You definitely can't pick your family nor your co-workers. Friends should be another level.  A sense of security. I think that that's why people go through friends so quickly. They make friends for certain situations. I want to have friends for all situations. I have a few, but sometimes even those relationships are flighty. But, when I talk to them, even after a while, it feels like nothing has changed. Those are the kind of relationships that need to be kept. Not the ones where you feel amazing for a while and then are quickly forgotten when something else comes along.

When I move to Chicago, if you are visiting, be sure to let me know! I will want to see you. It's a fact. I may be busy, but maybe you can stay with me... and my kitten... Don't worry. The kitten will be a snuggler.

-Sydney the Destroyer

Ferocious

To whom it may concern-

I am in love with ferocious tiny animals that think they're so mean. I just want to snuggle them and call them my own forever. A tiny kitten that was playful and ferocious during the day and then snuggled at night would be my dream cat. Even if the cat isn't ferocious. I just really want a snuggly cat. I want to SNUGGLE with the KITTY. I am not really big into playing video games, but I really really love to watch (I know.) and I need a kitty to snuggle with me. If someone wants to buy me a CUDDLY kitty... I will take it in a heartbeat.

NOW. Let me tell you all of the reasons why I DON'T need a kitten. Scott and I are hardly ever home. Like, we are both home on a Friday night for the first time in a couple of months. This is a rare occasion. It would be mean to have a cat and then are never home. The cat would be sad and lonely and then it would need a friend and then all of a sudden Scott and I have 1024 cats and they are ridiculous. Please don't get us a cat that I will love forever.

-Sydney the Destroyer

Healthy Breakfasts

To whom it may concern-

Breakfast is the hassle of the entire day for me. I have to decide whether I want food or 15 more minutes of sleep. Sleep always wins... unless there's pancakes. So I have a little bit of food at work. Now, this is not the okay kind of food that I have at work. It started out as apples and cheese and crackers and such but it quickly turned into a drawer of Oreos and Quaker Chewy bars. There is something wrong with me that I can eat such unhealthy food without remorse at 8:30-9am. I enjoy these moments. It's not right. I'm not really hungry. I just know that I will be later. #firstworldproblems I have to eat horribly junky food at my office because I am too lazy to get up and make breakfast. I want french toast.

-Sydney the Destroyer

Office Struggles...

To whom it may concern-

The vending machine is possessed by none other than Satan himself. Now, to a normal human being, this would be very scary and reasons to stay away from it, but I am intrigued and I have gone to check on its well being a couple of times in the past hour. Now, it was nice to me. I put in my two dollars, and it gave me $2.50 in quarter demanding for, "correct change." I then decide that it just wants me to be closer to the sale price of $1.35 and insert $1.50 because I don't have a dime on me at the moment. The machine spits out my quarters which sends me back up to the third floor to get the dime from my wallet and place the extra quarters safe inside.

Back down to the first floor I go, with the hopes of getting a soda. I insert my dime in first... I hear a clink as the dime goes straight through the intestines of this machine and it is vomited back at me in the little change slot. Disappointment. I decide to add the dime in last to try and psych it out because, you know. Clink. Damn it. Back to the third floor.

I arrive on the third floor after taking the steps two at a time. I ask, slightly winded, if I can trade my stupid dime for two nickels or a better more suitable dime. Success. Back down the stairs I go. I arrive at the stupid evil machine and I insert the nickels first. Oh, he likes these. I spend my money. Get my soda, take a drink, and am unsatisfied. Life is weird.

-Sydney the Destroyer

Future Generations

To whom it may concern-

Kids are scary. Anyone that is purely excited to have a kid and not absolutely terrified is lying or crazy. Now, I only know these things through my parents and having a bunch of little brothers and sisters, and hey, maybe it gets easier after the first one and yeah... But I don't know. There's this little (often cute often not) human that can't do anything for itself. You literally have to feed and bathe and change its diaper and put it to sleep and the list goes on. That's scary. You could accidentally kill this little being by falling asleep at an inopportune moment. They're fragile. They're real. They're a whole lot of responsibility that I am not ready for. I can't even imagine having a kid right now in my life. There is so much I want to do and accomplish for myself and a kid is definitely not going to help me get where I want to go right now. It's also really hard for me to think about physically having a child when there are so many children that need homes. It's like getting a purebred dog vs. a rescue in a very horrible analogy. And I'm sure that my thoughts on this will change and alter and such and my ego will take over and I will say something like, "I'm not leaving this world without leaving a piece of me here!" and such but right now, it just seems like there are things that need to be done that don't involve a tiny thing screaming. Now. I think babies are adorable. Like CA-UTE. But I am not going to go out of my way to make a child my friend. It makes me uncomfortable. Just like I wouldn't force an adult to LIKE MEEEEE I am not going to force a kid. If a kid doesn't want to talk to me, I don't make them. They are, after all, tiny adults. They appreciate being treated as such. They really don't want to be spoken to in that baby voice. They probably just think you're mocking them. In conclusion. Babies are scary and no one should ever be in a rush to have them because once you do, you will lose all of your independence and your life will be a series of events that blur until you get your full 8 hours of sleep when they're 12.

-Sydney the Destroyer