The most exciting thing

To whom it may concern-

There is nothing like failure to make you remember that you're human. Now, failure is subjective. Most of the time, there was nothing that you could do to change the outcome in the first place. You were doomed from the beginning. That's fine. The worst thing that could happen is that it could not happen. Most of the time, people are so worried about what is going on and that people can't possibly understand and put up walls when, really, all people want to do is understand. At least try. That's why acting is so difficult. When you don't get a part, sometimes all you want to do is understand. But, most of the time, there was nothing that you could have done in the first place. You were doomed from the first time they saw you and saw that you were white, too short, too tall, not the right body type, not the right vocal part, not the right look... etc. There was nothing you could have done. You hope that your audition made at least an impression... Something. But, it's not in your hands. You have to learn to not listen to anyone about the chances you have or anything, because after all, you might have never had a chance. Experiences are the most important part of everything. The fact that you got off your lazy ass and went to the audition in the first place and put your fear behind you to TRY because that's more than some people would do. The more that you realize that, the more that you will understand how important you are. Now, no. Now may not be your time, next time might not be your time, and hell, you may have never been in a show like that, but one day when you walk in, I would like to think that the stars align and the lighting is perfect and a voice from the Heavens sounds and is like, "I REALLY want to work with this person."

It can be so frustrating to see people who complain constantly get parts over you, who would be content to be a tree in anything just to be a part, but it's just not your time. It's just not what is meant to be. And I am all about what is meant to be. MAYBE if I was in that show, I would have rolled my ankle and been out of my career. Maybe I dodged a bullet. But, maybe I'm just not good enough isn't an option. You are always good enough to do SOMETHING. Maybe it takes some realization to find WHAT that something is, but everyone needs to find their something.

I like to think that I've found my something. The something that makes me the happiest I have ever been. And yes, it is frustrating to be "denied" the chance to create, but that's what makes it so amazing when you're granted that opportunity. The happiest I have ever been is when I get a part and I feel confident and I feel successful. To get better you need opportunity, to grow you need opportunity, there's not a lot of it here in Little Rock, but you have to make something out of nothing.

-Sydney the Destroyer