You gotta put the past behind ya...

To whom it may concern-

Typically, I am a very opinionated person with STRONG outlooks on different matters. Such is still true today, but I am finding the beauty in the new and unknown. I am letting myself have new and exciting (sometimes not so exciting) experiences and I am learning a vast amount about myself.

The most interesting part about all of this is that I wouldn't be where I am without a certain decision that was made... To move to New York. That's where all this began. Without the shift in focus and friend groups (with my constants there for sure) I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I like her A LOT. Often times people are searching for who they are down a specific path with specific people and a specific goal in mind. And... I have all of those things, but I am not afraid to stray from the path to explore other opportunities.

I know who I am, but I am still finding myself.

Let's all try something new tomorrow!

-Sydney the Destroyer

http://www.indianhillmusic.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/daniellehunter-try-something-new.jpg

You're Back From Outer Space...

To whom it may concern-

I am back you guys... finally. I know, no one missed me. It's cool. I have thoughts.

I think that a couple of my friends would agree that I am a netflix-a-holic. I spend most of my time holed up in solitary confinement with my trusty laptop and snacks binge watching some 90's television show or worse... My biggest pet peeve is not watching shows in order... how can you people do that? I finally watched X-Files in order... and here we go. It's not every day that you get hooked on a show so old that the special effects makeup looks like a drunk 8 year old did them. No. Those days are reserved for days like today, obviously. There's something to be said about a moment when the "monster" or "alien" is revealed in a scene and it makes you audibly gasp at how grotesque the makeup is. They just don't look real. But they aren't CGI either. Which makes me so happy. Then we can take a look back at the Star Trek (Original Series... duh ya know, with Shatner and Nimoy) and we can say the exact same thing. The ALIENS don't look real, but at that time, that's not what the audiences wanted. They wanted chilling stories and actors that were pretty and weren't quite sure how big to be for the cameras in such intimate settings. They wanted a story and a resolution and something to make them experience some type of feeling.

The reason that these shows hold such near and dear places in my heart is because there's a POSSIBILITY that aliens could exist. Now, I don't want you to think that I've lost my mind (lest I located it in the first place) saying that aliens could be real. There is evidence out there proving both points. I have none of it. This is purely my opinion. But, why would we continue to watch a show with such clear viewpoints (I know that Star Trek is set in the future... but that could be our ACTUAL future. You never know. I've always wanted to go to space.) on the situation when we have no desire to pursue such viewpoints. There's nothing wrong with a little curiosity... But that's no reason to QUIT YOUR DAY JOB... looking at you, Tom DeLonge.

Okay, this post took an odd turn. So, in conclusion, love each other. Mind your business. Keep it together. Bless up. Always wear a helmet.

-Sydney the Destroyer

http://static.srcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/classic-star-trek-montage.jpg

Dear Stress, No Thanks...

To whom it may concern-

It has come to my recent attention that the amount of curveballs life throws us is NOT in ANY WAY relative to how many curveballs we as people can handle. Everything happens for a reason. Obviously. But that reason is based on circumstance. If one is presented with a choice and they choose a path, then obviously that person could not know the outcome if they chose the other option. So, therefore that choice is a product of circumstance and the proceedings of the choice are now and will forever be the circumstances of the decision.

What do you do with your time? What do you do with your money? Will you ever be good enough? Why are you even trying? Are these the kinds of questions that a normal person should ask themselves everyday? Would asking these questions and answering them internally everyday be harmful or helpful to a normal person? It is said that one should not compare themselves to their neighbors in order to achieve fulfillment and happiness. But, what if you're not motivated to move forward in your life and you become stagnant and you look over and your neighbor has all of a sudden has reinvented their life and they have a nice place to live and a kitty and a corgi and they're happy and they have a nice job and they don't have to worry about making rent and that lights a fire under your ass to step up your game? One shouldn't dislike the person for having everything that you want to have in life. You just want those things. It has nothing to do with the person. It's selfish. Sometimes your decisions in life have to be selfish.

Being selfish doesn't always mean that you selfishly choose whatever YOU want to do whenever. You can selfishly choose to make someone else happy because that's what will ultimately make you happy. You can selfishly choose to make others feel good about themselves because that's what makes you feel good. Being selfish isn't always a bad thing. But, being selfish because you feel like you "have" to in order to further your career and sacrificing your personal life is not a wise decision. At the end of the day, what should make you happiest are the people you're surrounded by. Not by how much you liked your job. There should always be a balance. But, what will you have to give up to find that balance?

-Sydney the Destroyer

Selfish

To whom it may concern-

My parents did not raise me to be selfish and I am forever grateful. I constantly want to put the needs of others before myself and I want everyone to be successful, so I make decisions that make everyone happy or that are the most economic for all people that are involved. But I am at the point in my life where I can be selfish and make decisions that are the best for me and no one else. I can make the decision to move wherever I want without it taking a toll on almost anyone else. This is my decision. I have been waiting for a while to make these decisions because I was scared. Like anyone in this world can get when altering their entire life... but what does that matter? When I was little, I used to be scared of the dark, but I overcame that and I will overcome this. Being scared isn't a sign that things will go badly... being scared is a sign that there could be failure, but you just have to work through it. In our dressing room the other day we were talking about the rejection that we have to deal with every day in our field... too short... too fat... too brunette... too tall... all of these things that really have nothing to do with who we are as people but that we have to all deal with every day and as performers we are conditioned to accept rejection and welcome criticism. We are also professional auditioners that will be in any audition we can get our butts into. Some people don't agree with me when I say audition for everything, but I really say that. (I mean I wouldn't audition for a man but you know what I mean) The worst they can say is no. And then what? You're back where you started. The more that we try the more chances we have to succeed. That's why the change from Chicago to New York. That's why I want to move at all. There's no way that I would be able to go straight out of college and I am forever grateful for all the opportunity and experiences that I have gained, but respectfully... I have to get the fuck out. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't want to come back... because I most definitely want to work with all of you again, but I need to be selfish and take a chance on myself and believe in myself. Because if I don't believe in myself, no one else will either. For all of you on the fence, I will let you know how my first few months go and then we can chat about life decisions. :P I will see you all on the other side.

-Sydney the Destroyer

Fish for breakfast

To whom it may concern-

Someone in the office brought fish for breakfast... They should be assassinated. This office is small and confined and now you're forcing the entire staff to smell your poor breakfast decisions. This isn't your house. This isn't a bunch of people that will love you unconditionally despite your questionable meal choices. This is the work place. We aren't your friends. I am sure there's more than one of us plotting your demise in some twisted way. Maybe you will be hit today... maybe not till next week, but I am bringing tuna for lunch tomorrow and I am going to sit on the floor by your desk to eat it. Now, I am no breakfast Nazi. I love pizza and other lunch and dinnertime favorites for breakfast but FISH... in the OFFICE? That's just tacky. And I know for a fact you've been a meal offender with your toaster strudels for lunch. That's right. Toaster strudels. Like with the icing packets. I've seen you. We don't even have a toaster here. Are you just microwaving them?! Because if that's the case, it's barbaric and wrong on so many levels. THEY'RE TOASTER STRUDELS. Not MICROWAVE strudels. Ugh. I digress. So, as you sit there eating your fish with your smug face... remember, when something happens to break the atmosphere in the office, alliances form, friendships crumble, and you don't eat fucking fish in a cubicle at any time of the day... especially breakfast.

-Sydney the destroyer

P.S. They're noticing my very apparent disgusted glances and are starting to look guilty.

Moving Into A New Mindspace

To whom it may concern-

Sometimes one needs to move to a new frame of mind to free themselves from the confines of their past beliefs. Sometimes things change and people need to be given an out of some situations. I need that grace. I am currently re-vamping my life and moving to New York instead of Chicago as of a month ago. I have decided that the needs of my professional and personal life more align with this gigantic city that never sleeps instead of the gigantic freezing city of comedians. And, paths may realign someday and I might end up in the city of Chicago... but right now, this is the path that I choose. Please don't judge me too harshly. I am a very opinionated person that sticks to their ideas, but when a better idea comes along, I just have to acknowledge it AS the better idea. The idea was completely solidified when I received a notice to audition for a dream musical in the city, but there was no way that I was going to be able to get there in such short notice. That was the moment I knew that the city was where I had to be. Now, yes, as of right now Scott is planning to come with me in a year or so, but he's living in Austin right now furthering his career. Which is great! So, when I get to the city, please give me a hug and let's go get coffee! But, until then, I am broke. So please don't ask me to do anything that's going to cost a lot of money. I am pretending that I don't have any money in my bank account in order to make things a whole lot easier. Also, if you guys have some free stuff that you want to give away to me, PLEASE, I will take it. Whatever it is. Furniture, household items, love, etc. I will take it all. (Except animals which I desperately want but can't take)


-Sydney the Destroyer

P.S. Now, if contracts (theatre work) keep me here for a while, I will be so happy and be working and I will be in town for a while, but if they don't then come see me in the city!

I will fight you... I mean for you...

To whom it may concern-

I want to do so much in my lifetime that actually picking one thing to do is daunting. I love being a performer and I want to cover every aspect of the performing arts world, but life is short and opportunities are very slim where I am geographically at the moment... So, I must move. But, that's also quite daunting because moving is scary. Uprooting your life is scary. Going to a new place and basically starting over is fucking scary. But here we are. The worst things in life are the unknowns. They can be exciting for some people, but for me, they're downright terrifying. I like to have at least one constant in my life (people wise) that's not a family member and when you're moving, it's hard to keep that constant. Especially when they don't know if they're going to go with you. So the great unknown limbo bullshit continues where you wonder if you're being selfish or if you think that you're just being a little bitch baby. Keep the complicated situations away from me. I don't do well with complicated. Love is the worst best thing that's ever happened to me. And words are hard. #complicated

- Sydney the Destroyer

Austin Coffee Tour

To whom it may concern-

I am in Austin right now visiting my boyfriend and he still has to work his normal job hours... so I have to entertain myself. Which basically means that I found a list of the best coffee shops in Austin and I am going to conquer them all. I will find the best cappuccino in Austin. Here's the list for all that are interested!

http://austin.eater.com/maps/austins-best-coffee-shops-winter-2014

Now. There are 17 coffee shops on this list. I have already visited 2 of these shops in past trips to Austin. So, here's all the ones that I could get to in this allotted amount of time.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015-

Cenote

Today I visited the highly renowned coffee shop, Cenote, which happens to be #3 on the list that I found, but unfortunately, it's not even that high on my list.

The cappuccino- So, this is purely because I am snooty. The quality of espresso was excellently pulled and was not a bit bitter. AND the milk was perfectly steamed... for a latte. I ordered a cappuccino on the "dryer side" and I was given a latte. So, that wasn't so good.

Amount paid: $4.87

The wifi- This is one of those places where you have to ASK for the wifi password. It's not posted anywhere... That made my social anxiety act up in so many ways that I ended up not even asking and just did some mundane things on my computer that I can do without wifi... Let me just say that my documents have never looked so organized.

The aesthetic- This place had a really cool atmosphere! The workers however were not very friendly... But there's a giant metal octopus in the front of the building which is cool. They were playing some of the best tunes that I've ever heard in a coffee shop. Tune Yards made 3 appearances whilst I was there! The bathrooms were clean and there was an outdoor patio section (with a full juice bar) that looked awesome but I didn't take the time to explore.

Overview- Cenote was a cool place. I would definitely go there again. But I would probably just get drip coffee.

Thursday, April 16, 2015-

Houndstooth Coffee

Today I visited the highly renowned coffee shop, Houndstooth Coffee which is #1 on their list and as of right now, mine too.

The cappuccino- When I ordered my cappuccino on the "dryer side" the baristas told me that they didn't want to over steam the milk and burn it and yada yada but they apologized for it and offered to make me a new one if this one wasn't satisfactory. But damn, this was an amazing cappuccino. the excellently steamed micro-foam was so delicious (even though the art was kind of weird). But the art being weird was my only complaint. Whatsoever. And as you can see, I ordered a brownie too, which was also amazing. It had hints of espresso and dark chocolate. So basically, I was in heaven.

Amount paid: $8.76 (with my brownie)

The wifi- This is another one of those places where you have to ASK for the wifi password. It was coffeeandcheese when I went, just to give everyone with social anxiety a little break. :P The actual speed of the 5ghz wifi was underwhelming. As you can see with a .75mbps... it was sadly chugging along.

The aesthetic- Houndstooth was a lot "snootier" than Cenote. When I walked in there was a full fledged espresso tasting going on. Twas pretty interesting. But, the workers were friendly and obviously a fan of having customers. They were very knowledgeable in their field and I would definitely go there if I had any questions about their specific roasts.

Overview- Houndstooth was very homey feeling and I would DEFINITELY go there again. The cappuccino and the brownie were both exemplary. The only thing that I would change was the girl next to me talking on her cell phone to her boyfriend using her outside voice.


Thursday, April 16, 2015-

Epoch

Yes. I visited two coffee shops today. Epoch was my second shop of the day and I don't have a LOT of information because I just stopped in for a to-go cappuccino. Scott hung out here for a while too so some of this information is from him!


The cappuccino- As we have established, I am snooty. The espresso was a bit bitter and then when the barista went to fill up my cup, she only filled it up about 3/4 of the way... I felt I was being cheated, even if that's how they fill everyone's up. There wasn't enough foam for my taste. But again, foam is my favorite part. I don't have any pictures because I just plain didn't think about it. But, if I go again, I will be sure to get some.

Amount paid: $9.00 (I got a slice of cake too)

The wifi- I didn't use my computer here and neither did Scott...

The aesthetic- It had a very calm atmosphere. So calming, in fact, there was I'm sure a college girl sleeping on one of the couches. That's right. Sleeping. She even brought her own pillow and blanket... or it just lives on that couch... promoting sleep. Which is a little odd in my book. But, whatever.

Overview- Epoch was pretty cool! For the two seconds I was in there... Their Chocolate Espresso cake was wayyyyyy better than their coffee though... (I love chocolate and coffee... can you tell?) :P I maybe would go back? Maybe. It seems to be more of a study spot. There were lots of young people but one of the most amazing selling points is that it is open till midnight everyday! Which is awesome.

Friday, April 17, 2015-

Vintage Heart Coffee

Vintage Heart Coffee has taken the lead. The ONLY downside to this place is the lack of food items... I was looking forward to eating something but there are plenty of restaurants in the surrounding area!

The cappuccino- YUM. Excellently pulled espresso. Excellently steamed milk. On point foam art. AND there was only one barista working. She was a beast. Here's some pictures of the beautiful cappuccino and the expert foam. The cappuccino was sweet but not too sweet. It was light and airy but yet it filled me. You win Vintage Heart.

Amount paid: $3.90

The wifi- I guess Austin is just a town where you have to ASK what the wifi password is at every coffee shop. (ilovepuppies) As for speed... they also win here so far. The only coffee shop in town that has beat this is freaking Starbucks with their GOOGLE internet. YOU GO VINTAGE HEART! I downloaded a whole episode of Mad Men in like 5 minutes. It was awesome.

The aesthetic- Can I live here? The shop is located just south of Downtown and right across the street from a giant cemetery (creepy right?) but the surrounding shops and restaurants are just as hipster feeling so it's perfect. One street over is straight up scary, but we won't talk about that. The shop is tiny and intimate. There's probably enough room for 25 people to sit in the shop comfortably. So, no large meetings or parties here. But, the Gershwin music covered walls and the fancy fairy lights are enough to make anyone get comfy here. There's even a passive aggressive note just like one that your parents have left you at some point reminding you to "clean up your shit stuff." This place is no joke. Freaking adorable. There are pictures of puppies all over the walls too. So, I am definitely sold. The music playing in the background is very chill and made me want to keep working on all of the things that I wanted to work on. You're AWESOME Vintage Heart.

Overview- Everyone should go here if they are ever in Austin and they like coffee. Their menu is a bit odd but they have teas and all basic coffee drinks. So, in short, go. You will like it.


Saturday, April 18, 2015-

Bennu Coffee

Well... this is a disappointment.  I was so excited to get to try this place because out of Bennu struck the one and only, Chameleon Iced Coffee company... which is the best damned iced coffee I have ever had from a bottle. So, please someone tell me why their hot drinks were such a sad disappointment?

The cappuccino- Well. This was by far the WORST cappuccino that I have had in this city. And that includes Starbucks. Scott and I both got a cappuccino to-go and we both ended up having to throw our drinks away. I was very upset. I just watched the barista pull my espresso shots and then literally walk away while they were still pulling letting them die and reach a completely bitter place that no self respecting espresso shot (or barista) should ever reach. The milk was WAY over steamed. The foam was made of very large bubbles and the cup was filled 3/4 of the way with crappy burnt foam. I was so completely underwhelmed.

Amount paid: $3.79 

The wifi- This place was an unprotected wifi network that I couldn't even get a speed rating on because it was so awful. I don't know what I was expecting after that awful cappuccino.

The aesthetic- This is the one thing that I experienced here that I can totally get on board with. The place was in a great location and there was a homey feel inside. Everyone seemed to be very focused on whatever they were working on, so that was cool. I think that if I would have ordered Iced Coffee, like those people, I would have felt a lot better about life. The place also had a Bitcoin trading station... which was pretty awesome. I don't know how many people actually use it, but that's some pretty useful information... especially if you're going to SXSW and need to make an untraceable money transfer? I dunno. ALSO!!! BIG PLUS!!!! This place is open 24/7 for all of your coffee needs. Whatever they might be at 2am! Which is an awesome feature! So, maybe I will go back at 2am and let the internet world know about how the 2am Bennu experience is...

Overview- If you're going to get iced coffee and work on something offline, go for it. If you want something warm or if you want to work on something on the internet... this is not the place for you. While, I might have gone on a very off day... WHICH IS VERY POSSIBLE!!... I would probably not go again... unless I HAD to have iced coffee at 2am... when it's one of the only coffee shops open.

Sunday,  April 19, 2015-

Mozart Coffee

Coffee by the lake?! AND an amazing slice of cheesecake? I think this is a win.

The cappuccino- Well... because I wanted to sit outside and it's rather warm... I ended up getting an iced coffee here. Which was really good! Not too bitter, and when the ice melted it got even better! So that was great!

Amount paid: $9.50 (with the cheesecake) 

The wifi- The wifi password was posted everywhere (mozartsnet) which was awesome. But, there were like probably 150 people on the wifi so I couldn't get a very accurate reading. It wasn't great but it wasn't awful... Definitely not the worst.

The aesthetic- Man. This place was beautiful. Inside the store front there was a very rustic feel and outside there are just a bunch of picnic tables that overlook the river. AND we went on a perfect day. So, if you're looking for a beautiful and relaxing place to work on something, this is your place. They also serve brunch. Which is cool. Their pastries were amazing on top of all that. Here's a picture of our beautiful view!

Overview- Go here. If you're in Austin and you want to see the beautiful lake, drink great coffee, and eat amazing sweets... Mozart's is your place.

Sunday, April 19, 2015-

Halcyon Coffee

Coffee hit two of the day. Halcyon had an AMAZING cappuccino.

The cappuccino- I've got to say, Halcyon and Vintage Heart are now both in the running for first place in my book. The cappuccino was expertly steamed with gorgeous microfoam and the espresso shots were delightful. Not to mention, their foam art was on point.

Amount paid: $9.09 (for two cappuccinos) 

The wifi- The wifi was unsecured here like Bennu and the results were kind of abysmal as well. I wouldn't recommend going here for heavy wifi use.

The aesthetic- The feel was very chill and relaxed. There's a full bar inside too so there was some of that vibe going on as well as the coffee house vibe. So that was a little eclectic. But all in all, there were some really cool couches, awesome outdoor seating and all of the workers seemed really nice too.

Overview- The cappuccino was amazing. I don't know what the place is like in the evening what with it being a full bar and all... but it was pretty pleasant when we went!

Wednesday, April 22, 2015-

Cherrywood Coffeehouse

Yes. I took two days off of my coffee journey. I know. I'm a slacker.

The cappuccino- Yum. This was a really good cappuccino. Not your average by any means. I got an amazing pumpkin muffin as well! It was glorious. They serve everything in unique mugs here, which is awesome. I am not even sure they have two of the same mugs. The milk was beautiful microfoam and the shots were not too bitter (although they could have been pulled a little shorter). All in all, this place was a win.

Amount paid: $6.20 (for the muffin too) 

The wifi- This place is the example of excellent wifi that's unprotected. I don't know what is happening with them that's not happening with Halcyon and Bennu, but they had the same amount of people inside with the same amount of people on the wifi. I'm no scientist.

The aesthetic- The place exuded hipster hang-out from all of their eclectic syrups (lavender, macadamia nut, and so forth) to their amazingly indie music. The workers are all clad with colored hair and/or facial piercings. Which is all groovy to me. They apparently have concerts in their outdoor patio, which is super awesome. Their patio is roomy and it looks perfect for a sunny day... which today is not particularly. All in all, great place. It's pretty big too! So, meetings here are a possibility. They also serve a full menu till midnight!

Overview- Yes. Just yes. I would totally come here again. If not to get another cappuccino, to try that lavender syrup!


And that's all she wrote, folks. Yes. I visited 9 coffee shops. And yes, I am pretty proud of myself. Overall, my winner was Vintage heart, but please let me know who your winner was! Also, let me know if there's a winner in your town that I just have to visit! :) If not, go check out some local coffee shops and find one!

- Sydney the Destroyer

Tolerate

To whom it may concern-

When love is the question, yes is the answer. Always. Even if you don't agree with someone. If love is the question, yes is the answer. No one can tell you who to love. No one can tell you how to love. No one can tell you what to love. Be your own person and the more that you love the more that you're open to being loved. The more positivity and open energy that you put into the universe, the more that you will get back. This surpasses your specific religion and crosses over into the OVERWHELMING gray area of humanity and the area in which people deserve to be treated like people. In a job interview, you aren't allowed to hit on the interviewee without a harassment case. I think it should be the same if you ask them what their religion is, or their sexual preference. You should get a harassment case. One should not make judgments on an individual when they walk in the room either. I personally think that all interviews should take place in a confessional like setting with a wall and a voice distortion machine and they should all be video taped so then, people would get hired based on their answers and their personality through their answers. Not by how pretty they are, what color they are, how feminine they are, how masculine they are, what religion they are... etc. It should be based on how invested they are and what their work ethic is. These should be the only reasons. Not based on looks or personal views. That's just not okay. If Atheists refused to hire Christians, then there would be an outrage. If the LGBT community refused to hire the straight community, there would be outrage. The word of life is tolerance. If one does not learn to tolerate others, one will live an unfulfilling life. There are way more pressing issues than that of discrimination in 2015. Why are we STILL trying to discriminate?! IT'S 2015!!!


I was part of an Equality Cabaret last night that raised almost $1,500!!!! It was the most rewarding evening that I have been a part of in a long time. The venue was more packed than I have ever seen it! It was miraculous. The number of people in this Southern town of Little Rock, Arkansas, is astounding and makes me so hopeful for the future of the LGBT community. We had so many people sign up to be volunteers. It was amazing.


Stop hate and tolerate.

-Sydney the Destroyer

Supercalifragilisticwhatthehell'smitosis

To whom it may concern-

I am performing in a production of Mary Poppins at the moment and the only thing that I can do in my "spare time" is sleep, shower, work, and watch sitcoms. This is my downtime for today. An average day consists of me waking up at roughly 7:45am each morning, going in to work at 9 working till 5 and then going to the theatre for a "Jolly Holiday". Now, some days I work half days, and some days I have two shows, some days I even teach dance on top of everything else. But, wouldn't trade it for anything. Every day I find myself trying to come up with new word mashes for "Supercali..." and today's is in honor of Sabrina the Teenage Witch and the ever popular phrase, "Mitosis is..."

Off to another sleepless day and performance filled evening. I hope that everyone is this happy at some point.


-Sydney the Destroyer

Fun Fact Monday

To whom it may concern-

Winter lasts for 21 years on the planet, Uranus.

So be glad that winter only lasts a few months around these parts.

-Sydney the Destroyer

Nothing Matters (In A Non-Emo Way)

To whom it may concern-

This morning I was listening to the radio on my way to work, as I often do in the morning, to catch up on current news events and I was very displeased with the conversation that was being had. The conversation had nothing to do with current events. I feel like I lost brain cells just by listening and not changing the channel. The DJs were talking about things that society views as making people appear smart. Which is ridiculous. I'm going to start with a short summary of their discussion and then tell you my exact thoughts on each subject. Here we go:

Now, I turn on the radio and the first thing I hear is, "Some people believe that wearing glasses make them look smarter... So I googled what other weird things make people look smarter!" 

Now a few things about that, MOST people wear glasses to help so that they can see better... others wear them as fashion accessories. But guys, no matter whether you wear glasses or not, that doesn't have anything to do with how smart you are. The End.

At this point I am thinking, "Why don't I change the channel?" But I don't because some sick bit of curiosity makes me keep listening.

Then the DJ starts to go through this list. Here's what they were:

1) When someone can't/won't keep up with the pack of people. So that means that if someone is walking too fast or too slow, they're seen as dumb. Which WOAH. Dude. That has nothing to do with anything. Some people just aren't in a hurry to get somewhere or are tired or heaven forbid are running late or have something important to get done in a timely manner. Does that make them stupid? Apparently.

2) Drinking. Basically if someone is drinking, they look like they're stupid. And I definitely don't agree. I know some brilliant people who drink. A lot. And that doesn't make them stupid. That makes them look like they make different life decisions than me. Definitely not stupid.

3) Writing with your middle initial. Now, guys. I gotta admit. This one might okay. Sydney A. Ippolito DOES look more professional than Sydney Ippolito BUT not using my middle initial does NOT make me look stupid. If any written work is written well, it should not be judged differently if there's a middle initial in the signature.

4) Not using big words. This one was the most controversial in the studio. The article they were citing (I will put a link below) states that big words should be avoided so as to not look like you're trying too hard. Well, what if I just have a big vocabulary? Does that mean that I have to LIMIT myself to make other people think that I am smarter by NOT being as smart as I really am?! I find this utterly ridiculous and so did 2 of the 3 DJs. The third DJ (let's call them Sam) was very adamant that there should be only one word to describe how one is feeling i.e. Happy, Sad, Angry. While the other two DJs argued with Sam about how there are different words for each feeling and how each feelings are different. Sam was not having any of this and was insistent that angry would suffice if someone was livid.

This whole ridiculous conversation filled me with rage. WHY should someone have to limit themselves to look smart in front of other people? Why do other people have to change who they are to LOOK smart. Isn't it more important to BE smart? I would rather read a book than be SEEN reading a book. What is happening in this world? Since when is it more important to LOOK smart than to BE smart. Professional and smart are two different things. Just because someone is in a suit, with glasses, walking with the pack, not drinking alcohol, writing with their middle initial, and speaking with small words doesn't mean they're smart. It really doesn't mean anything at all.

- Sydney the Destroyer of All Things Nice

The stupid article: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/09/how-to-look-smart/375062/

The most exciting thing

To whom it may concern-

There is nothing like failure to make you remember that you're human. Now, failure is subjective. Most of the time, there was nothing that you could do to change the outcome in the first place. You were doomed from the beginning. That's fine. The worst thing that could happen is that it could not happen. Most of the time, people are so worried about what is going on and that people can't possibly understand and put up walls when, really, all people want to do is understand. At least try. That's why acting is so difficult. When you don't get a part, sometimes all you want to do is understand. But, most of the time, there was nothing that you could have done in the first place. You were doomed from the first time they saw you and saw that you were white, too short, too tall, not the right body type, not the right vocal part, not the right look... etc. There was nothing you could have done. You hope that your audition made at least an impression... Something. But, it's not in your hands. You have to learn to not listen to anyone about the chances you have or anything, because after all, you might have never had a chance. Experiences are the most important part of everything. The fact that you got off your lazy ass and went to the audition in the first place and put your fear behind you to TRY because that's more than some people would do. The more that you realize that, the more that you will understand how important you are. Now, no. Now may not be your time, next time might not be your time, and hell, you may have never been in a show like that, but one day when you walk in, I would like to think that the stars align and the lighting is perfect and a voice from the Heavens sounds and is like, "I REALLY want to work with this person."

It can be so frustrating to see people who complain constantly get parts over you, who would be content to be a tree in anything just to be a part, but it's just not your time. It's just not what is meant to be. And I am all about what is meant to be. MAYBE if I was in that show, I would have rolled my ankle and been out of my career. Maybe I dodged a bullet. But, maybe I'm just not good enough isn't an option. You are always good enough to do SOMETHING. Maybe it takes some realization to find WHAT that something is, but everyone needs to find their something.

I like to think that I've found my something. The something that makes me the happiest I have ever been. And yes, it is frustrating to be "denied" the chance to create, but that's what makes it so amazing when you're granted that opportunity. The happiest I have ever been is when I get a part and I feel confident and I feel successful. To get better you need opportunity, to grow you need opportunity, there's not a lot of it here in Little Rock, but you have to make something out of nothing.

-Sydney the Destroyer

Meow

To whom it may concern-

I wrote song lyrics. And they're pretty awful. So here they are.

Awful Things

Lean a little bit closer
Whisper in my ear
Tell me all those awful things
That I want to hear

Tell me you love me
Then tell me you'll leave
It's those kinds of things
I need to make you believe

That I know
It's a show
And your feelings
are all locked up
Inside your
Chest cavity


And I'm trying
To decode the lock
Or find the key
That you've hidden
Right behind me


Everyone keeps talking
Spreading all your lies
But you command everyone
Just using your eyes

I tell them I loved you
I tell them I tried
But I can never forget
The tears that I cried

And I know
It's a show
And my feelings
Are starting to lock up
Inside my chest cavity

And I'm trying
Not to let it shut
Or give you the key
You'll hide
Right behind me

People always tell me
I should act my age
Acting older freaks them out
I should disengage

From the conversation
That I shouldn't be
But I will do anything
Not to make you believe

That I know
It's a show
And my feelings
Are all locked up
Inside my
Chest cavity

And I'm trying
To open the lock
And find the key
That's hidden
Deep within me

Lean a little bit closer
Whisper in my ear
Tell me all those awful things
That I want to hear.

If you steal these, I will steal your first born child.

-Sydney the Destroyer

The Final Countdown...

To whom it may concern...

There is always a lunch countdown in my head. Dinner and breakfast I can do without. Lunch though, it is the best meal of the day. I look forward to it from the moment I wake up in the morning then I look forward to the next day's lunch as soon as I've completed my current one. As my stomach rumbles I am completely aware that I will be eating in an hour and twenty-five minutes. What I will be eating, I have no idea. I never know beforehand unless I have brought my lunch which does happen occasionally. The joy in finding food for lunch is indescribable. From deciding that I would like to eat Chinese food or a burger to deciding that I just want to eat my peanut butter jelly sandwich. They are all equally rewarding to me.

I am one of those weird people that believes that eating should be a social affair though, and if I have to go by myself and sit by myself, I most likely will not go. It must have something to do with my large Italian/Greek family that revolves around meals. I don't like sitting by myself in a restaurant unless I have something that I am accomplishing. I would much rather get my take-out and sit at the Starbucks with all of my friends. I really try to have a lunch buddy every day or I sit in my office with the door shut.

Popular lunch combinations for me are-

Chinese food
Greek food
Chicken Salad
Avocado Sandwiches
Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches (Strawberry jelly only)

These are pretty much all I eat. I really don't like frozen dinners so much, but I will eat them if I have to. These are the lunches I look forward to. I would prefer any lunch if it involves coffee afterwards. Let's be real.

We should get lunch soon.

-Sydney the destroyer

Kittens and Corgis

To whom it may concern...

This is a list of things I want and why. They are all physical things. I'll get to that existential stuff later.

The first thing that I want is a kitten that loves to snuggle. I need a snuggler friend at all times and my stuffed animal is just not warm enough nor snuggly enough... Sorry Albertson.

The next thing that I want is a corgi to snuggle with me and my kitten. I also want them to snuggle independently when I am not home. I mean, you guys. Kittens and Corgis snuggling?!? I might explode.

The final thing that I want is to always have a great home base where I can truly feel at home. Now, if there is someone or something there with me that I love, it will be home and it would be the best.

That's all I really physically want in this world at the moment. Now, we all want success, and love, and meaning, and happiness. But those are all things that we don't need to mention; they are also things that we should never forget.

When I am in a new town away from family and friends, I want to be able to sustain myself on my own, obviously. I will have Scott there, thank the heavens, and the year following, I will have my brother. Slowly I will be gaining a support system, but right now, I can only look ahead to see what I want. I want to be there now, but moving with nothing isn't smart. I have to obtain my composure and move with a game plan a plan for an apartment, a plan for a job, a plan for transportation, and for my personal life. Where will I meet people and make friends? Will my current job assist me in making friends? Are the people who make me feel guilty about my lifestyle the people that I want to be around?

Choosing the friends you have in life is probably one of the most important parts of social living. If you can't pick your friends, who can you pick? You definitely can't pick your family nor your co-workers. Friends should be another level.  A sense of security. I think that that's why people go through friends so quickly. They make friends for certain situations. I want to have friends for all situations. I have a few, but sometimes even those relationships are flighty. But, when I talk to them, even after a while, it feels like nothing has changed. Those are the kind of relationships that need to be kept. Not the ones where you feel amazing for a while and then are quickly forgotten when something else comes along.

When I move to Chicago, if you are visiting, be sure to let me know! I will want to see you. It's a fact. I may be busy, but maybe you can stay with me... and my kitten... Don't worry. The kitten will be a snuggler.

-Sydney the Destroyer

Ferocious

To whom it may concern-

I am in love with ferocious tiny animals that think they're so mean. I just want to snuggle them and call them my own forever. A tiny kitten that was playful and ferocious during the day and then snuggled at night would be my dream cat. Even if the cat isn't ferocious. I just really want a snuggly cat. I want to SNUGGLE with the KITTY. I am not really big into playing video games, but I really really love to watch (I know.) and I need a kitty to snuggle with me. If someone wants to buy me a CUDDLY kitty... I will take it in a heartbeat.

NOW. Let me tell you all of the reasons why I DON'T need a kitten. Scott and I are hardly ever home. Like, we are both home on a Friday night for the first time in a couple of months. This is a rare occasion. It would be mean to have a cat and then are never home. The cat would be sad and lonely and then it would need a friend and then all of a sudden Scott and I have 1024 cats and they are ridiculous. Please don't get us a cat that I will love forever.

-Sydney the Destroyer

Healthy Breakfasts

To whom it may concern-

Breakfast is the hassle of the entire day for me. I have to decide whether I want food or 15 more minutes of sleep. Sleep always wins... unless there's pancakes. So I have a little bit of food at work. Now, this is not the okay kind of food that I have at work. It started out as apples and cheese and crackers and such but it quickly turned into a drawer of Oreos and Quaker Chewy bars. There is something wrong with me that I can eat such unhealthy food without remorse at 8:30-9am. I enjoy these moments. It's not right. I'm not really hungry. I just know that I will be later. #firstworldproblems I have to eat horribly junky food at my office because I am too lazy to get up and make breakfast. I want french toast.

-Sydney the Destroyer

Office Struggles...

To whom it may concern-

The vending machine is possessed by none other than Satan himself. Now, to a normal human being, this would be very scary and reasons to stay away from it, but I am intrigued and I have gone to check on its well being a couple of times in the past hour. Now, it was nice to me. I put in my two dollars, and it gave me $2.50 in quarter demanding for, "correct change." I then decide that it just wants me to be closer to the sale price of $1.35 and insert $1.50 because I don't have a dime on me at the moment. The machine spits out my quarters which sends me back up to the third floor to get the dime from my wallet and place the extra quarters safe inside.

Back down to the first floor I go, with the hopes of getting a soda. I insert my dime in first... I hear a clink as the dime goes straight through the intestines of this machine and it is vomited back at me in the little change slot. Disappointment. I decide to add the dime in last to try and psych it out because, you know. Clink. Damn it. Back to the third floor.

I arrive on the third floor after taking the steps two at a time. I ask, slightly winded, if I can trade my stupid dime for two nickels or a better more suitable dime. Success. Back down the stairs I go. I arrive at the stupid evil machine and I insert the nickels first. Oh, he likes these. I spend my money. Get my soda, take a drink, and am unsatisfied. Life is weird.

-Sydney the Destroyer

Future Generations

To whom it may concern-

Kids are scary. Anyone that is purely excited to have a kid and not absolutely terrified is lying or crazy. Now, I only know these things through my parents and having a bunch of little brothers and sisters, and hey, maybe it gets easier after the first one and yeah... But I don't know. There's this little (often cute often not) human that can't do anything for itself. You literally have to feed and bathe and change its diaper and put it to sleep and the list goes on. That's scary. You could accidentally kill this little being by falling asleep at an inopportune moment. They're fragile. They're real. They're a whole lot of responsibility that I am not ready for. I can't even imagine having a kid right now in my life. There is so much I want to do and accomplish for myself and a kid is definitely not going to help me get where I want to go right now. It's also really hard for me to think about physically having a child when there are so many children that need homes. It's like getting a purebred dog vs. a rescue in a very horrible analogy. And I'm sure that my thoughts on this will change and alter and such and my ego will take over and I will say something like, "I'm not leaving this world without leaving a piece of me here!" and such but right now, it just seems like there are things that need to be done that don't involve a tiny thing screaming. Now. I think babies are adorable. Like CA-UTE. But I am not going to go out of my way to make a child my friend. It makes me uncomfortable. Just like I wouldn't force an adult to LIKE MEEEEE I am not going to force a kid. If a kid doesn't want to talk to me, I don't make them. They are, after all, tiny adults. They appreciate being treated as such. They really don't want to be spoken to in that baby voice. They probably just think you're mocking them. In conclusion. Babies are scary and no one should ever be in a rush to have them because once you do, you will lose all of your independence and your life will be a series of events that blur until you get your full 8 hours of sleep when they're 12.

-Sydney the Destroyer