To whom it may concern-
My parents did not raise me to be selfish and I am forever grateful. I constantly want to put the needs of others before myself and I want everyone to be successful, so I make decisions that make everyone happy or that are the most economic for all people that are involved. But I am at the point in my life where I can be selfish and make decisions that are the best for me and no one else. I can make the decision to move wherever I want without it taking a toll on almost anyone else. This is my decision. I have been waiting for a while to make these decisions because I was scared. Like anyone in this world can get when altering their entire life... but what does that matter? When I was little, I used to be scared of the dark, but I overcame that and I will overcome this. Being scared isn't a sign that things will go badly... being scared is a sign that there could be failure, but you just have to work through it. In our dressing room the other day we were talking about the rejection that we have to deal with every day in our field... too short... too fat... too brunette... too tall... all of these things that really have nothing to do with who we are as people but that we have to all deal with every day and as performers we are conditioned to accept rejection and welcome criticism. We are also professional auditioners that will be in any audition we can get our butts into. Some people don't agree with me when I say audition for everything, but I really say that. (I mean I wouldn't audition for a man but you know what I mean) The worst they can say is no. And then what? You're back where you started. The more that we try the more chances we have to succeed. That's why the change from Chicago to New York. That's why I want to move at all. There's no way that I would be able to go straight out of college and I am forever grateful for all the opportunity and experiences that I have gained, but respectfully... I have to get the fuck out. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't want to come back... because I most definitely want to work with all of you again, but I need to be selfish and take a chance on myself and believe in myself. Because if I don't believe in myself, no one else will either. For all of you on the fence, I will let you know how my first few months go and then we can chat about life decisions. :P I will see you all on the other side.
-Sydney the Destroyer
