To whom it may concern-
Someone in the office brought fish for breakfast... They should be assassinated. This office is small and confined and now you're forcing the entire staff to smell your poor breakfast decisions. This isn't your house. This isn't a bunch of people that will love you unconditionally despite your questionable meal choices. This is the work place. We aren't your friends. I am sure there's more than one of us plotting your demise in some twisted way. Maybe you will be hit today... maybe not till next week, but I am bringing tuna for lunch tomorrow and I am going to sit on the floor by your desk to eat it. Now, I am no breakfast Nazi. I love pizza and other lunch and dinnertime favorites for breakfast but FISH... in the OFFICE? That's just tacky. And I know for a fact you've been a meal offender with your toaster strudels for lunch. That's right. Toaster strudels. Like with the icing packets. I've seen you. We don't even have a toaster here. Are you just microwaving them?! Because if that's the case, it's barbaric and wrong on so many levels. THEY'RE TOASTER STRUDELS. Not MICROWAVE strudels. Ugh. I digress. So, as you sit there eating your fish with your smug face... remember, when something happens to break the atmosphere in the office, alliances form, friendships crumble, and you don't eat fucking fish in a cubicle at any time of the day... especially breakfast.
-Sydney the destroyer
P.S. They're noticing my very apparent disgusted glances and are starting to look guilty.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Moving Into A New Mindspace
To whom it may concern-
Sometimes one needs to move to a new frame of mind to free themselves from the confines of their past beliefs. Sometimes things change and people need to be given an out of some situations. I need that grace. I am currently re-vamping my life and moving to New York instead of Chicago as of a month ago. I have decided that the needs of my professional and personal life more align with this gigantic city that never sleeps instead of the gigantic freezing city of comedians. And, paths may realign someday and I might end up in the city of Chicago... but right now, this is the path that I choose. Please don't judge me too harshly. I am a very opinionated person that sticks to their ideas, but when a better idea comes along, I just have to acknowledge it AS the better idea. The idea was completely solidified when I received a notice to audition for a dream musical in the city, but there was no way that I was going to be able to get there in such short notice. That was the moment I knew that the city was where I had to be. Now, yes, as of right now Scott is planning to come with me in a year or so, but he's living in Austin right now furthering his career. Which is great! So, when I get to the city, please give me a hug and let's go get coffee! But, until then, I am broke. So please don't ask me to do anything that's going to cost a lot of money. I am pretending that I don't have any money in my bank account in order to make things a whole lot easier. Also, if you guys have some free stuff that you want to give away to me, PLEASE, I will take it. Whatever it is. Furniture, household items, love, etc. I will take it all. (Except animals which I desperately want but can't take)
-Sydney the Destroyer
P.S. Now, if contracts (theatre work) keep me here for a while, I will be so happy and be working and I will be in town for a while, but if they don't then come see me in the city!
Sometimes one needs to move to a new frame of mind to free themselves from the confines of their past beliefs. Sometimes things change and people need to be given an out of some situations. I need that grace. I am currently re-vamping my life and moving to New York instead of Chicago as of a month ago. I have decided that the needs of my professional and personal life more align with this gigantic city that never sleeps instead of the gigantic freezing city of comedians. And, paths may realign someday and I might end up in the city of Chicago... but right now, this is the path that I choose. Please don't judge me too harshly. I am a very opinionated person that sticks to their ideas, but when a better idea comes along, I just have to acknowledge it AS the better idea. The idea was completely solidified when I received a notice to audition for a dream musical in the city, but there was no way that I was going to be able to get there in such short notice. That was the moment I knew that the city was where I had to be. Now, yes, as of right now Scott is planning to come with me in a year or so, but he's living in Austin right now furthering his career. Which is great! So, when I get to the city, please give me a hug and let's go get coffee! But, until then, I am broke. So please don't ask me to do anything that's going to cost a lot of money. I am pretending that I don't have any money in my bank account in order to make things a whole lot easier. Also, if you guys have some free stuff that you want to give away to me, PLEASE, I will take it. Whatever it is. Furniture, household items, love, etc. I will take it all. (Except animals which I desperately want but can't take)
-Sydney the Destroyer
P.S. Now, if contracts (theatre work) keep me here for a while, I will be so happy and be working and I will be in town for a while, but if they don't then come see me in the city!
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