Coaching the incompetent

To whom it may concern-

The usual use of the sentence is to convey a point. Do not abuse your sentences. If there is one thing at all that college taught me, it is not to abuse your sentences. Make them feel loved and important and every word must be thought out like that of a poet. Your words must be your outlet. 'That was cool' is no longer an acceptable answer. Why was it 'cool?' What made it 'cool?' What is 'cool?' Cool is a temperature not an apt description.

That was an emotional roller coaster. I felt as though I was in someone's mind when they were making a difficult decision. There was a struggle, a realization, and a conclusion. (like a sentence)

There are other uses for sentences. Sentences can also be another word for punishment with an end. Because a sentence that you receive has a beginning, middle, and end, like any other literary sentence. (unless you killed someone... then you don't have an end, just an infinite middle.)

This is why it is so hard for me to read books that end on a cliff hanger. I WANT TO KNOW THE END. Please don't end in the middle. How is that going to work? Am I just supposed to use my imagination? Please don't make me. I already subconsciously create parts within the story that I can be a part of, please don't make me fabricate a completely false ending for the completely false characters that you created. I will cry and it won't be pretty. Every book should end with a, 'they lived happily ever after' or 'they got a divorce after three years' or 'she died eight years later, but they were happy with the time they spent.' God. Just give me a clue or a skeleton of a future for these fictional people.

Sometimes I think I feel deeper for fictional people than I do for people in real life. It probably has something to do with being able to be in the fictional character's head and knowing what they're thinking when they make every decision. Not that I agree with every decision, I just see the knowledge behind it. I cried really hard in the book, The Fault in our Stars. But, in the movie, not a tear was shed. Is this because I am cynical and once people have a face that isn't the same as the one I gave them in the book, they're useless to me? I have no clue. I just want all of my fictional friends to be real too. I am sure that someone knows some voodoo magic to bring those characters alive. After all, Harry Potter was my first crush. Move over Ginny Weasley. If you are anything like the movie Ginny, you are definitely going down... Sorry, Scott.

-Sydney the Destroyer of all things nice

P.S. If you have any suggestions on what I should do while I am in Chicago next week let me know! I would love to hear any suggestions!